cradily:

will you still love me when i no longer ball so fuckin hard

crystuls:

perks of dating me: u will be the hot one

ostracizedpoodle:

“Truth or dare”
“Truth”
“What’s your credit card number”

me: i fucking hate you i just wanna slam dunk you into the garbage can you belong in
my friend: wow i didnt know you hated that character so much
me: oh no hes my favorite

-annoying:

i want flawless eyebrows and $100,000

koishe:

classy-dick:

do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life

i am that friend

succulentthighs:

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 

adropofred:

comment s’appelle un chien qui vend des médicaments?

un pharmachien

britneysbaldhead:

"tell the class a little about yourself"

image

bagmilk:

when u about to fall asleep in class and someone calls your name

image