spookyassniall:

"hey since you’re up can u-"

*sits down*

kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

ex0skeletal:

Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.

clannyphantom:

"maybe you wouldnt be so tired if you went to bed earl-"

image

lanashiftdelrey:

coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents

image

pvnk-is-dad:

I crave intimacy but I get confused and uncomfortable when I’m shown even the slightest bit of attention or affection.

telapathetic:

Sorry teacher I cant do my homework because I don’t fucking give a shit

meladoodle:

*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin

me: no one ever texts me
*gets a text*
me: wtf do you want

ven0moth:

if you rip my headphones out of my ears ill rip your heart out of your chest